Saturday, January 12, 2008

Same Ol' Resolution For the First Time

When I spoke of making changes for the new year, I was not only talking about moving my blog to a better format or finally getting rid of that old, junk mail cluttered e-mail address.  I know my resolution will not sound surprising as it is probably the most common of them all: lose weight.  For me it is not so common, as I have regularly exercised for many years and felt no need to put any extra pressure on myself except to go a higher level or remind myself to push myself a little harder through those crunches.  But since moving and losing my position in our cooperative as the fitness facilitator I have completely slacked on the practice of exercise.  Bluntly, I don't even have the will to lift an exercise DVD out of it's box and slip it into the player.  It has been sad feeling this way.  Normally I have more will than is probably good for me, so for me not to have the will to do something sends alarms ringing in all quadrants of my brain.  But there was a wee bit of will left in me still, enough to ignore those alarms as long as I possibly could.  What made those bells ring loud enough earplugs couldn't shut out the din, you ask?

My daughter.   My dear, precious Catherine Girl.  She has lately been consumed with fears of being overweight.  Okay, again very bluntly: FAT!  My daughters are the farthest thing from fat, even though the two smallest of them are sitting along or below the 0th percentile for height and somewhere between the 50th & 75th percentile for weight.  (The doctors took one look at them, shook their head and claimed they'd never seen the like of it before, but they certainly didn't have a weight problem.)  I, on the other hand, have dealt with weight issues since I was a child.  Exercise has been a part of my living routine since the first time my father and step-mother bought me a cute little tennis outfit, took me a sunny California tennis court, and taught me how to play a game which would burn off those little round areas beginning to develop on my pre-teen body, leaving me amazed.

Over the last year I've attempted to establish a routine . . . NOT!  I've put on my cloths, pulled out the mat, and gotten about 3/4's of the way through one of my favorite DVD's . . . once.   I began training to run through the big park near here by walking everyday the route I would run by pushing my jogger with screaming toddler inside.  You'd think just that would push me into a brisk jog, but instead I put the jogger back in the shed and the kid back into her morning nap routines.

I'd discussed with Catherine going jogging with her on the weekends because it would give her a sense that she's also doing something to control her weight (not that I'd put it that way because she should not feel the need to do something about it at this age, especially when it is not an issue), but have yet to implement it.  Today it was a drizzly day threatening to downpour so the DVD came out, in front of my girls. 

The first thing they noticed was, "It's all girls.  Why is it all girls?"

Jungle Mama ~ "Well, it's an exercise routine made specially for women."

Jungle Girls ~ "They're all so skinny and pretty.  Why are they all so skinny and pretty?"

Jungle Mama ~ "Because they exercise several times every day and it's their job to look toned and beautiful so that you'll feel like you can look as good as them when you do the same exercise as them."

Jungle Girls ~ "Why are they all smiling?"

Jungle Mama (reminding herself to put a smile on her face) ~ "Because they need to make it look like they're having a really great time so you'll remember you're having a really great time and you'll keep coming back to exercise with them."

Catherine Girl ~ "Mom, if you exercise with them will you also look like them," not hesitating in the least, "even if you look like that?" (pointing a straight finger towards my jiggling belly)

By this point I was breathing hard enough I could almost feign being too out of breath to respond, but I managed to put on my best poker face and say, ". . . Possibly."  It's settled, I'm dusting off all those DVD's, polishing my jogging shoes, and pulling out the exercise cloths.  This year I'm working on those big jiggly areas developing around my middle-aged middle . . . minus the cute little tennis outfit.


Jorge said...

I confess - I hate to exercise for exercise sake. The one time I joined a gym and paid my membership for a year, I went a grand total of once. On the other hand, I love to hike, walk around the neighborhood, always use the stairs rather than the elevator, go bike riding, ski - you get the picture. Therefore, i can be sympathetic to your plight, and encourage you to maintain your resolve - not for the cosmetics of the thing, but for your health, and those of your kids. Be well,

Amber said...

I, too have struggled with weight my whole life. I am lucky that I love to exercise but food is my vice. I am currently on track to FINALLY lose my baby weight. Plus, those extra 10 pounds I had before that.

It is tricky trying to instill a positive body image with my daughter and I find I NEVER talk about my struggles, nor do I call anyone fat. The key is just to focus on health....

P.S. Welcome to the Blogger world. :-)

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daphne said...

Oh boy... well... you know me and how i look. I have once in my life been to the gym twice. I ought to do something about it, i know. But i hate it. I hate hate hate it. I have promised Bob that i would go jogging with him at night, when it is dark, so that by the time daylight will appear again, i might be able to actually jog for five minutes...
So far, i have not done it even once...
I feel bad. But apparently not bad enough to do something about it. Ah well... one day!
love, daphne

Susan said...

LOL I remember those days! Now that I'm a fifty-something though my new mantra has become 'let it droop!'

Mannyed said...

Nothing like kids to be the great motivator! Don't forget, you guys rides bikes a lot! That's a good source of exercise right there! Maybe your lack of will is trying to tell you to find different exercise methods - something more appealing to you?

CassieHumble said...

Oh I love that conversation! Too funny. Why DO they have to look like that? Kindof intimidating if you ask me! lol I actually don't stick with the dvd thing so well anymore. That is how I started out though and I used to do them religiously every day. Now I love going to the gym and never even have thoughts of pulling out the dvds. I probably should once in a while for something different. I have a great kickboxing one that I used to enjoy!

I have had the same email address for YEARS and I just have to clean out the junk mail folder daily. I should probably make a new one and send it to all the people I know and clean house. I have gazillions of people in my contacts list that I have no idea who they are. lol

I love your site here. It is very pretty!

Jungle Mama said...

@Jorge ~ I agree. I do love to bikeride and all other forms of exercise outdoors, but it just isn't enough. Like Amber, food is my vice! I've got to get some extra cardio in the daily routine so I can eat those chocolates ;) But at the same time I'm devoted to showing my girls a healthy lifestyle. I'm not obsessed with fat vs. skinny, but I don't want them to think they can't have what they want.

@Amber ~ Yup. I know the 10lbs for marriage, 10lbs for birth control, 10lbs left over from pregnancy after pregnancy, and I've added a new one: 10lbs for becoming an expat! sheesh! I've got an uphill climb, don't I? Better get hiking!

@Daphne ~ It is my pleasure to introduce you to the wonderful world of wanting to be fit ;) Go girl!

@Susan ~ Your situation is all fine and dandy, but when I start thinking that way at 30 . . . well, that's when I knew something was wrong.

@Mannyed & Cassie ~ Yes, I think the gym would be fun, but I have neither the time nor the money for it. I used to go out and it was wonderful, but now it is not an option. Besides, it's just not the same trying to ride a bike home after a long hard workout. Sorry. I'll wait until we are back in the states and I have a car and some money to spend on the a gym pass. For now me and my dvd's will have to do.

Mannyed said...

Oh, I def don't mean a gym. I hate the gym. But I like finding fun stuff to do that is good excerize.