Sunday, February 24, 2008

Headline News: "Jungle Has Declared Disaster"

Just when the family thought 2008 had dealt out it's worst February decided it had a few things up it's sleeve as well. Friday, the 15th, started like any other day in the household of monkeys, but the end would be anything but normal. The family was wrapping up Valentine's holiday and had planned for a badly needed date night. The children were thrilled to have a babysitter/friend come over watch them and the parents were abuzz with whatever adventures the night would reward them with in Amsterdam. Jungle Mama began the day with an early shopping trip as the rest of the day entailed baking and decorating a cake on order for Saturday morning. She'd just walked through the door when in stumbled Jungle Dad with white face and a look of apology. Though said household member has given consent to the publishing of this article he refused to comment and instead just lowered and shook his head from side to side in a look of self reproach. It has been reported that the man was seen attempting to keep up with the Hell's Angel's on his speedy scooter, but upon the approach of a badly angled corner spectators witnessed only a screaming streak which ended in a broken and bloody mess of a monkey. "He made a few calls, picked up his scooter, wobbled a bit and began back the way he'd come."

Authorities were not reported to, but those who have heard the story say he was fortunate to have been wearing his new motorcycle suit or the damage would certainly have been more severe. The health authorities were contacted, but as conditions in the Netherlands are less than efficient (Report on Netherlands Healthcare, see upcoming editions of The Blooming Jungle Bulletin) an appointment was made for mid-afternoon, which led to an appointment with radiology at the hospital, a trip to the ER waiting room, resulting in a crude cast and dire outlook for the next 6 weeks (special thanks to the support of family friends who loaned out their spare car for the journey).

The Jungle had thought it has seen the worst of 2008, but it is now facing it's worst disaster of the decade: a lame father. The Squirrel Monkey commented on the situation by stating, "My Daddy has a broken leg. I don't want to have a daddy who is broken." Though the family has not made any arrangements for a replacement as yet, we have already seen the impact it has had on their ecosystem. They have resorted to a supply of fast food as the mother is busy running around the house at the speed of two normal adults. The updates to the rest of the outside world and communication between family and friends have ceased due to a constant demand of the lump on the log needing to communicate to his workstation at the lab via the families main mode of outside communications. Tempers are running as high as a contagious fever between the house and couch bound, but this could in part be due to the second round of attack on the household.

Just as the family had settled down from the major event of the day (not the date night), the father laying in bed with leg propped high, mother laying aside her troubled mind beginning to drift into the pleasanter part of sleep, and the children supposedly sleeping peacefully the jungle was awoken by the haunting noises of retching and screeching from the youngest. What one would have hoped to have been a single purge due to an overdose of Valentine's candy (the evidence was very incriminating) was proven false when the child continued to need the assistance of a bucket and washcloth every 10 minutes . . . from dusk 'til following midday. The random bodily ejections continued from that fateful Friday through the following Tuesday. As an effect from the lack of sleep, the two week vacation from school, and the father with deadlines to try and keep up with at work from home, the family has declared disaster.

Some relief aid was given from afore mentioned friends of the jungle who took all able bodied monkeys to the zoo for a bonding experience. While the smallest of the clan ran off her frustrations by chasing after the butterflies in the butterfly room in an attempt to capture or maim any who crossed her outstretched arms and clapping hands of death, the eldest skulked in the wake of the group with signs and symptoms of the most recent household illness while at the same time proving to enjoying herself. Always cheerful Squirrel Monkey ran from cage to cage oblivious to any other world but the animals who enchanted her and the mother wandered oblivious to any other world but that of her beautiful children enjoying what would likely be the only day out of the house during their entire two-week vacation: a therapy for her proven to be more effective than photography or writing.


Elizabeth said...

Disaster, indeed! When it rains, it pours. I trust that peace will return to the Jungle in short order.

Anonymous said...

Zoo! They went to the zoo! Without me! bugger! I was planning on that!!! ;)
love, daphne

Mannyed said...

Well if the Family can handle all that, then they can probably handle anything that comes there way! Forget February, bring on March!

sue_mrsue said...

I keep trying to leave comments for you, but it keeps refusing to recognise me. I'm going to keep trying this time till I get it right!

You all sure have had quite the time! Here's hoping things look up, way up, for you all soon!