Monday, February 11, 2008

Jungle Buzzing

My daughters have just recently started their own individual quests for the answers all birds and bees know.  It is my job to respond . . . without laughing.

Amara ~ "When a girl and boy dance then they will have a baby."  Long pause while mother stifles any inappropriate emotions, "Well, after a long time then the baby will come out."

We've been having springtime weather these last few days and it provided us the chance to bring the girls over to the park.  The two youngest joined in a game with several of the other children in the gazebo over the water.  Each of them had their own individual stick gathered from underneath the nearby trees and proceeded to bat at the water watching the mud stir up from the bottom of the pool or the droplets of water splatter across the reflection of the clear blue sky.  All was calm until I realized my toddlers mouth had once again formed itself around another innocent word into another obscenity.  Really, people, I don't know why it is this child which has to fill the family record book with obscene mispronunciations, but she's become very proficient at it.  When a little boy grabbed a nearby stick that she'd had her eye on she waved her hands through the air and yelled out, "No!  I want big dick!"  From that moment on I could not help but cringe or giggle each time she'd talk about her "dicks".  I'm sure you can imagine all the scenarios a child could think of to admire her precious treasures.  Thankfully the Dutch children were oblivious to the faux pas. 

On the other side of the fence, my 8-year-old has her ears wide open to the topic.  I have found a particular program on tv that I rather enjoy: Gilmore Girls.  I would love to have that relationship with my teenage daughters.  Anyway, every once in a while Catherine will sit down with me to watch it and I normally find no harm in the fact that she's watching a fairly descent mother-daughter relationship when she does.  This particular episode was dealing with the most popular teenage issue and peer pressure.   Through these two girl friends rapid speed discussion about how one had "done it" and didn't know how to feel about having done it without thinking ahead while the other girl remained pure and level-headed through two long relationships the s-e-x word never occurred.  Leading you through the conversation so you'll follow my daughters line of questioning, the mother was downstairs and eavesdropping on the conversation and, relieved to confirm her suspicions that her daughter had refrained from doing something, she let out a triumphant whisper, "I've got the good girl!"  Immediately, Catherine matter-of-factly faces me and asks, "Why did she say 'I've got the girl'?  Is it because she didn't have sex?"  Jaw drops open here.  My daughter just brought up the "s" word and had figured it out only through context and slang.  So, my first response was one that I consider a good one: "So," slightly swaggering from side to side in my seat, "how do you happen to know the word . . . sex?"  After learning that she has heard several kids in school talk about the word we delved into the issue with a little mother-to-daughter talk with her in the lead.  Thankfully there were more simple questions which came up but now I am preparing myself for the real battle field.  I knew it was coming . . . I just didn't know how soon.


Elizabeth said...

I am SO not ready to have that conversation with either of my girls. I know I need to have it but... *sigh*. It sounds like you handled yourself--and the situation--with aplomb.

Mannyed said...

I would've passed out! Btw, love, love, LOVE the below dress cakes! WOW!

Mannyed said...

I read somewhere recently that Valentine's Day in Europe is much more low key than the you find that to be true where you live?

Ron Modro said...

Ooo La La! Great new digs! Been missing you weet one. Drop me an email, I need to talk to you about something.

Ron Modro

Holy said...

Holy Daughter and I have a girlie weekend - boys are out of town on a winter camping trip - so we went to see 27 Dresses.

Your dick comments reminded me of her questions through the movie - there were a couple of innuendo comments in the movie and one of them was something about caulking which turned into her love interest, a writer, taking notes aloud that said, she likes caulk. Holy Daughter leaned over and said to me really loudly, what's caulk?

Oh my. These are so not fun conversations to have with kids.

Jorge said...

At least you're talking to each other; that is more than some parents do. Scary, how quickly kids grow up these days, and thanks to our culture, how quickly they have to deal with sex as part of their lives. Be well,